o: orgasmic :o

one

2010-09-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

dear blog,

i think i gave up on love - once again. and i know when i'm walking down this other path, it will find me again. hopefully, from someone who doesn't give love a bad name. why is it so hard to find the "one" that you have to subconsciously lie to yourself saying that he is the one. eventhough, deep down, you know he's not.

dear blog,
why can't he be my mr. one? why isn't he willing to? am i not the one for him?

i miss the guy i met a year and a month ago. thats all i really want.

no direction

2010-09-07T15:13:00.002+08:00

its funny how, some things don't turn out the way you want them to. well, not funny, more of annoying, frustrating really. in a few days, i would have acheived another goal in life. guess that didn't go as planned - along with the hundreds of other things i had to gave up.

don't give love a bad name. makes us feel like it doesn't exist anymore. so we envy those who share it, deeply with someone else. i envy you, from the very core of my existence. because thats all i've really wanted since well, since i learnt of love.

there's a song that goes, "love is a losing game". ironically, its sung by Amy Winehouse. hmm, maybe everything that happens to you in life has a song that goes with it. paramore is coming down, october the 19th. i thought that could be added to our little memory box, guess not. arthur's day too. sigh*

i'm only ranting right now because i have no direction. everything's effed up. no one understands me. so maybe, just maybe, i might runaway. no one might notice. would you?

phuket: round 2

2010-08-21T01:31:00.002+08:00

to start off, it wasn't perfect. no surprises were unfold. just merely, the same usual routine. even in another country -.- so that holiday literally made me come to my senses. made me think, what the fuck am i doing with him? i don't deserve this. but that also made him realise something. and lets all hope and pray that he really means it this time. i can't afford another round of this game.

well, at least i got tattoo number 3 done :) it hurt like a mothafuckaaaaaa

love is a lie

2010-08-03T21:00:00.003+08:00

when you think you're in love, thats when you should remind yourself that it will all be over. nothing ever lasts in this fairytale. what you assume to be butterflies in your stomach are merely the jitters you get knowing that this won't last. why you say the three words, 'i love you' for the very first time is just an assurance towards your feelings, trying to cover up for that fear that really lies beneath everything.

when you think you're at the peak of romance, everything crashes to the ground. you're walls crumble and caves in on you. and you scream at yourself, knowing that it was coming. for all that time you desperately seek for that loving attention, you forgot that one day, it could all be taken away from you, just another phonecall away.

no matter how much you give in. or how much you sacrifice or change yourself, you will never be good enough. and that's the point where you know you are used. that everything is just a lie. the other end is just in for the joy ride. unfortunately, that's also the point when you've given everything you have. you wore your heart on your sleeve. and he stabbed it, full with his ego and his lies.

then you lie on your bed, under the covers. fearing that an image of him might tear another piece of your heart. thinking, what went wrong. why weren't you good enough. what else could possibly be done. how can someone be so cruel. you gave up your life, your dreams, your ambition, and most of all, your personality, for this unappreciative person.

this is a reminder for those in doubt, run while you can. the pain isn't worth it in the end.

examinations

2010-08-03T01:06:00.002+08:00

its been 4 months. final exams are here. 5 papers. 2 to go. PHUKET here i come.

a few months back, i had this vapid few weeks of non-stop err.. partying. i don't think i was ever that exhausted before. part of me is glad that its over. part of me can't wait to taste my m&m's again.

i've taken up DJing. finally ;) jon and i are going to be a team. i haven't had much time to practice. but imma get there. imma be up on the sets one day. making you bitches facked all night long. heehee.
Love, LissaZombie

stop, rewind, press play

2010-06-24T00:50:00.003+08:00

now this entry is just gonna be a quick recap of whats happened.

me and amlan are still happily together in lovely bliss :) we're touching 10 months now :DDD which happens to be my longest relationship yet *shh

ooh i got 6As and 4Bs for my SPM! not too proud, was really expecting an A for BM but it turned out as a B+ and i'm really not bothered to pay the government to prove them wrong. my Bs were all B+s btw :)) but i was really happy when i saw an A+ for literature. i mean come on, i should have received an award for writing that much in 2 hours!

i'm in SEGi Kuala Lumpur, doing my diploma in business administration :) previously, i was doing foundation in commerce but then the people from Star Newspaper got back to me, and guess what, I GOT THE DAMN SCHOLARSHIP :D not to brag but for those haters out there who never cease to ignore me.. IN YO' FACE! so i switched to the diploma program since they didn't offer a scholarship for the program i was currently doing at that time.

i learnt how to DJ, so yes.. lissa zombie is in the making. watch out world, jonnyvicious and i are gonna take the world by storm with banging hardcore and the dirtiest electro you've ever eargsmed to!

lets see.. vat else, a few days ago, friends and i celebrated the 1 year death anniversary of our beloved thomas deniel. sigh* it feels like only yesterday we were hanging out together dear. trust me, when i say we all dearly miss you! hope there's a lot of orange juice wherever you're at right now :)

my mother and i are currently fighting. she leaves me alone to starve at home and cooks herself lavish meals. heh. so i'm kinda thinking of moving out but i don't really have the financial support if i do since i know she'll probably stop giving me my measly allowance :(

OH and i also went for Benassi! it wasn't as awesome as expected. pretty shite really but tinkermonkey and i spent the night at the hilton kl. which was superbly naaaaice. i love you baobei :)

that's all for now, ariverderci <3

sowie!

2010-06-24T00:29:00.003+08:00

hello brown cows, we meet again on planet zombie :)

dreadfully sorry for the uberly long hiatus *cough*4months*cough*. Work became hectic enough and i didn't have the time at all to blog, nor either update ze facebook at the time. So, to start where i left off, here are some pictures from my Bangkok trip i was talking bout it my last entry :)

erawan shrine : the four faced buddha

what's awesome bought this shrine is that you get to pray for one thing at each face. which means, 4 wishes! at that time all i was wishing for was good results, good love, good life, moneyhhhh. hahah. the stacks of garlands are all sort of donations from the public. then you also get to light candles and stick gold paper to the gate. however, the whole entire time, my brother was just pulling me away, well at least trying to coz apparently, i'm all christian and its against Jesus to do this -.- not like i was playing with the gold paper or joysticks anyways!

show yourselves

2010-02-28T01:05:00.002+08:00

the lights are switched off, and i'm still waiting. will you still come around and make me smile, granting me a small surprise, perhaps even leaving me at ease, knowing and thinking you still care? i'm currently 1191 kilometres away from my boo and lord knows what he's up to.

i'd figured he'd be up to the same thing, hitting some balls at the usual snooker center or just playing tai ti at the mamak up the road. perhaps, amazingly, even watching a movie at home with his family. HARHAR. i thought wrong. none of those were going on tonight. hmm, who's the one who should not be up to something funny now?

new adventures

2010-02-24T18:34:00.003+08:00

its been a while hey? well, this time i won't blame it entirely on work but also my own lethargic-ism. is that even a word, i wonder.

to keep it simple and short, Chinese new year was over a week ago. As usual i returned to sitiawan to celebrate with the family. this year's was quite uneventful since no one really came home. in other words, less and pau ka ching ching :( i met my baby brother, without a proper introduction of course. he was sorta tossed right at my face - not literally. i shall not rant bout what happened so that i could save myself the energy from having to defend myself and my sarcasm later on. no pictures were taken, also to avoid being sued for whatever childish reason *cough

when i got back to KL, ze boyfriend and i along with some of his friends decided to take a2 d ay 1 night trip up to genting. little did we know it was peak season so everything was over double the price. ended up not sticking to the budget. however, we did manage to get a room at resort hotel at a reasonable price from a loser who lost his cash in the casino. with that being said, here are the pictures. go ahead and waste your time :)

the bom-diggity

2010-02-10T01:17:00.003+08:00

hello dear humanoids.

lately, i live a really long-tiring day kind of life. i dont get much sleep nor do i sit. work, has been getting better. gotten more used to it and i was so relieved to have finally gotten my salary! my work friends are great, they've been hilarious. get along pretty damn well with my boss too :)

apologize for the goody-goody ayat. god knows i'm exhausted half the time and i refuse tp use whats left of my brain at night. yesterday was Am and i's 5th month together-gether. we hada lil adventure to cheras just to eat chicken chop. AND we went there on his bike! haha, it was fun and it'll sure to stick with me forever. plus, for the first time, imma finally have a boy for valentines but i won't be around *sob

jonneh's back from Parie! bought me some stroopwaffels which i worship him for. the clubbing nights begin ngehee

aaaand i dyed my hair! not really bothered to get pics up right now but will get to em soonish!

give me my satisfaction

2010-01-31T20:16:00.002+08:00

my mind is so hard to please
word after word, i'm on my knees
oh won't you let me be as good as them
comparison after comparison
no i won't match
their strengths and devotion

and i can't see a way out of this
no, i can't see a way out of this

so is it my turn yet?
and will i be the one
to satisfy your heart
until the day i'm gone
but my doubt gets the best of me
so stick a fork in me, i'm done

i know what i have to do
if i'm gonna get through to you,
i'll break this addiction
but the more the days go on
the more i stumble upon
and the more i stumble

and i can't see a way out of this
no, i can't see a way out of this

sorry, i've apparently been too busy to blog these days. work work work, i can't wait for my damn payday!

do you wanna get to touch me

2010-01-19T01:04:00.002+08:00

there's no need to explain how work has been, given my sudden decrease in blogging. but if you still feel like menyibuking, this is what i do from day to day at work;

1. listen to lady gaga/rihanna/katy perry all day long
2. stand for 9 hours - with an hour break in between
3. watch people buy clothes i want but cant afford
4. put up with bimboes on crack
5. hang ze hundreds of clothes customers try but don't buy.

at the end of the day, its okay lah. i get to pick my uniform consisting of clothes from the shop and keep em :)

bonne année

2010-01-02T19:42:00.003+08:00

"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right"
- Oprah Winfrey

happy new years to whoever who's reading this, although i'm sure my entertaining you doesn't surpass whatever work you're suppose to do. - p.s. don't put it off any longer ;)

so whats yerr New Years Resolution? mmm, i've never really had one. maybe i did but i've never really bothered fulfilling them. boo me. No difference this year. However, imma set some "goals" since i've got more time on my hands ;)

1. enjoy my new job, which i'm not sure if i really have one right now.
2. get toned. LOSE weightage.
3. start reading again
4. make better life decisions
5. get my driver's license - with my own cash
6. redo my room. i'm talking POP ART
7. get into college. nawwwh.

i've got a funnneh story to tell you. heh. i've always planned a hella awesome new years eve as a way to mark the end of my bleek schooling years. velllll, the original awesome cool fantastic plan was to go to The Bloody Beetroots. like, hell fucking yeah kan? well apparently, finishing school isn't good enough. this lil zombie was under-aged. so i kennot enter KL Live negara -__-" yess, go ahead and laugh your balls off Ross!

food for thought

2009-12-28T13:59:00.001+08:00

forgive me god for i have sinned- terribly. i have indulged myself in some sinful yet absolutely mouth-watering delicacies.

yes, last night i stuffed my face with a 7 course dinner at this restaurant on Imbi called Chef Rasa Sayang. the dinner started off with raw lobster- which was a first but absolutely ah-ma-zing. then it was shark's fin soup. probably the best i've ever had. probably the most expensive i've ever had. roasted baby pork crisp to perfection. cod fish. this vege dish which was nothing to shout about. lamb cutlets and last but not least, craaaaaaaaaaaab! zomg. orgasm doh.

mmhmm, i've sinned terribly. so much for working out and losing all this cellulite. ugh. beetroots this thursday! whoooooooot!

undefined

2009-12-27T01:30:00.002+08:00

sorry for the sudden hiatus. life's been pretty boring yet so complicated. sort of. also, Merry Xmas to everyone :) it was a pretty good noel this year! did a lil xmas barbeque party at the aunt's, which is where i'm staying right now till the 5th, i think. thank god it wasn't as bleek as last year :D

if one could choose to be whatever they wanted to be, what would you be? or rather, what would you do with that miserable life of yours?

if one could choose between two, something old or something new, which would it be? nostalgia or mal du siecle? if you're wondering, that sort of means pain for the present, i think.

would you live for rekindled love, or add flame to a sparking romance?

i might be talking nonsense right now, i haven't had the time to rant about my lil yet unnecessary complicated life. unnecessary stress, i believe that's what they call em'. however much you try to deny or ignore it, it comes right back; smacking you in the face. no, i dont understand why some people, *cough*moi*cough* put themselves through this. honestly, life would be a lot more smooth-sailing without it kan?

if only everyone could do what they wanted without having to think twice; reach new limits and tear down boundaries. then again, i think all that might just tip the whole world off. everything would be attainable, nothing would be umm, exciting? its like how one gets excited when they finally achieve what they've always wanted. ehem, I'VE GOT MY DAMN BLOODY BEETROOTS TICKET :D

sorry, one just has to brag when they finally get to witness their all time favourite DJs on new years eve. sigh* life, is almost complete i believe. for days i haven't had the urge to blog. maybe it was because i was on a partying roll. honestly, i've never felt so unhealthy and obese-fied in my life. this week, shall be the week imma work my ass off - heh, better said than done.

ooo, also, jon's flown off to paris today to begin his 1 month plus vacation with his boyfriend :D i'm so thrilled for him, yet i cant help but to feel a lil envious. sigh* no one i've known besides my mother has gotten a break at life that easy. speaking of le mama, she's currently camping in tasmania with one of her beaus. what a way to celebrate xmas, old school style, in ze wile *wiggles eyebrows*

i'm missing a lot of people right now!

bonn anniversaire

2009-12-18T16:17:00.002+08:00

"this is your day, forget the rest and enjoy yourself"
-Jon Sebastian

ever felt like you just couldn't handle life anymore? suddenly everything seems to crash right in front of you. everything did, hearts were broken and relationships were scarred. at one point she tried to replace everything with late night sessions, her euphoria of music, parties, liqour and body language.

today's moi's birthday. i guess its safe to say last night was a pretty interesting night. i possibly had the best birthday ever, thanks to my lovelies. and as usual, at every party, someone just has to fuck up. not gonna get into details, heads weren't clear at that mo.

it was jon's birthday the day before, we lived it up by having a tiny lil house party at his place. again, all the booze got the best of us and jon ended up wasted as hell. heh.

we partied at Rootz, this gorgeous rooftop club in lot 10 with 3 opened bottles of absolut and a minimal red bull and cranberry juice. the place was a lil too crowded but the music was typical radio r&b. that was sort of turning off really. the zombie was dressed in a body hugging sequined dress. mmhmm, at the end of the night, her heel snapped -again. she needs to invest in a really good pair of heels man -___-

pictures will be uploaded, for now this is all yer gonna get!

of broken hearts and midnight downings

2009-12-13T22:03:00.002+08:00

i'm nowhere near perfection;
i eat when i'm bored,
i fall for boys too easily,
i'm vulnerable to believing lies,
i'm hoping that one day i wouldn't
need to fake a smile.
i have best friends and enemies,
i have drama and memories,
and i forget why i'm still here sometimes.
you have no idea.

with new goodbyes and broken hearts,

i'm sorry, i wasn't good enough

let her be

2009-12-11T13:40:00.000+08:00

“You may not be her first or her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together. But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more that she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

—

Bob Marley

last hour sober

2009-12-11T13:13:00.002+08:00

"We're all damaged in our own ways. Nobody's perfect."

first of all, congratulations are in order to the SPM candidates of 2009, including moi. As you can see, i haven't had the time to update this thinger due to obvious reasons. i haven't had enough sleep either. i haven't had enough of myself.

these couple days have been interesting. i finally got to express myself, tell him what i truly felt after bottling up for a month or so. it's wrong, probably selfish of me but what would you possibly do when your love for that guy you once did faded away? we're in a state of dilemma now. One's stubborn and the other selfless.

i can honestly say, i've never felt this way before and i don't mean that in a good way.

i'm sorry boo.

december babies

2009-12-06T13:01:00.002+08:00

yesterday, i took the night off by celebrating a bunch of december babies, including moi's birthday! *cough, birthday* zahra, nick and ashish got a place together so they had a lil house warming party as well. you know how house parties go; booze, music and more booze. it was fun, really. finally got to see ze friends again after a really long time. unfortunately, someone got a lil too wasted :P

my night was a high. it was good until i had to babysit someone. mmhm. got home at 1am-ish. could have been somewhere else kan?

had physics a couple days ago. i think i screwed it up real bad :/ chemistry on tuesday, the final day. WHOOOTWHOOOOT

joyeux anniversaire zombie

you and me could write a bad romance

2009-12-01T18:53:00.003+08:00

Like air, bad when tempest, pleasant when breezy, around me nonetheless
You revolve around me, and i thank God for you

lately, i've been sorta having double-personalities, i think you could call it that. Its been a lil complicated as well, there's really almost nothing i can do about it since some people refuse to accept facts and move on. new plans have been made, surprise surprise, the zombie might be flying off to London town to live her life and victimise more hearts :P i'll update later on when it actually happens. I SHALL NOT KEEP MY HOPES UP.

finally, i got literature over with. thanks to mr. AB for discussing one of the poems i was studying with me. it came out for the 12mark question so i dont know what i'd do without him, literally. it was a tiring 2 and half hour paper with continuous writing. i think i wrote 12pages worth of essays. semangat tahap godlike doh. at the end of it, my right hand went numb and my fingers were quivering.

the things that i do-.- Anyways, on a lighter and much joyous note, the Bloody Beetroots' a go :D finally managed to pujuk mummy :)

you came like the rain, without warning ♥

secreto di amor

2009-11-27T22:56:00.002+08:00

"I can make you happy, only if you let me"

I have failed again. This time, miserably. I was supposed to let love find its way to my heart. I wasn't supposed to search for it actively. I was to take the backseat and focus on everything else other than this.

I want to walk away from this. I NEED to walk away. However, like some strong current it just pulls me back and places me right back where I started, or the point where I just hate being at because of one's ignorance. back to square one. great

People often say I am an intelligent person, with a lot of facts to purge out from my mouth. I just think I verbally masturbate from time to time.

Then again, if I was such a smarty pants, why the fuck do I get myself beaten all the damn time. Why don't I learn from my mistakes?

I want to do this right, for once in my life. I don't want to be lost anymore. I'm too old and too cynical for such recurrence.

I've gambled way too much during my younger years and perhaps I might not be so lucky this time around.

Praying really hard that I am making the right move, at the right time, and with the right soul.

tonight i can write

2009-11-27T18:58:00.002+08:00

its another gloomy evening. okay, maybe gloomy isn't the word, cloudy is. one can't really tell since the sun's set but you can hear the rolling thunder, not too far from here. today, i have attempted at revising some literature since i've got a paper on tuesday. after my sudden hiatus of forgetting bout literature since trials, i realised that there would be a big chance i might just do as bad.

yes, im dubious. i haven't got the proper guidance whereas the other girl who's sitting for it seems pretty evil by not sharing her notes. mmhmm, i wish her luck. i'm left to rely on my imagination and personal experience, which i've tried putting into my answers yet never succeed in capturing the minds of my teachers. apparently i lack a solid base, a sort of foundation. well, duh! since i only started classes 2 months before trials from a senior who happened to ace her exams. then again, she gave me total freedom when i wrote so i got pretty used to it. having a format, restrictions, not really my thing.

with that being said, wish me luck my lil monsters ;)

twilight saga: new moon

2009-11-27T13:16:00.002+08:00

yes, oh yes. i watched New Moon yesterday and honestly, it was better than Twilight. The actors had a lot more colour going on, remember how they used to look so purple-blue in Twilight? decided to watch it at the Gardens with the other half. mhmm, the day went by pretty well, despite everything that's been going on.

however, one thing did creep me out. Imagine this, you get into a cab and your instantly greeted by the driver with your full address. *shivers* well, yeah that's excatly what i got. my cab driver on the way home from Mid Valley, knew where i lived. i didnt even have to tell him where i wanted to go. psycho kan?

its a holiday today. selamat hari raya haji kepada semua yang menyambutnya. im gonna go mash potatoes now, yummy!

3 days

2009-11-25T19:42:00.002+08:00

there's no use in trying if the pieces don't fit anymore
-James Morisson.

here's the basic update, since i'm not really in the mood after a grueling day of going through Add Maths papers. the government sure knows how to trick us. they made paper 1 pretty easy, i guess it sort gave us a confidence boost after seeing that we could answer everything. then paper 2 came. maaaan was it the complete opposite of its prior paper. haha, i literally almost pulled my hair out of my skull. there truly wasn't enough time to finish the exam. but oh well, whats past is the past kan?

i've got 3 more subjects to sit for; literature, physics and my fav, chemistry -.-"sighh* it'll all be over pretty soon. i could almost taste it.

yesterday, i received a phone call from someone whom i thought was my friend. well, there were a bunch of them really. then after our conversation, i realised how fake people can get. maybe fake isn't the word, shallow really is. for people i thought who were dear to me, i regret to feel this way bout em. their judgement matters though, at least it used to. now, i think im on my own.

will be watching New Moon tomorrow. hoorah-hooray :)

secrets

2009-11-20T21:10:00.005+08:00

secret; a piece of information that is only known by one person or a few people and should not be told to others.

disappointed;unhappy because someone or something was not as good as you hoped or expected, or because something did not happen.

everyone has their secrets. everyone gets disappointed. some things are just not good enough :/

the ability to have brain sex is lost. i believe love has evolved since the time of Shakespeare, or even Napolean. relationships differ now, what with all the socialites that roam the town, searching for a prey to satisfy their needs for the night. physical contact, by which i mean you-know-what, seems so important to keep a relationship alive. what happened to the times where conversation could arouse a person just because it was that interesting, without the slightest bit of sex talk. sigh* romanticness dah semakin lupus kot

anyways, forget my jibber-jabber. life got a lil difficult for a mo, but i should be over that soon enough. history's over, but it wasn't easy. life's not easy. my keyboard is not making it any easier. it decided to get all retarded last night. the mother's gonna skin me alive.

i'm honestly stuck in a state of confusion. when will there be someone who truly understands. he's there though, i know he is. ;)

unlike me

2009-11-18T23:43:00.003+08:00

there are no guarantees in life, not for the present, nor for the future
- Kate Havenik

life can really suck eggs, when you're torn in two and you just don't know which to choose. speaking of eggs, i've been eating them every morning coz' apparently, eggs help me use my brain better? says, Mr. Tan

enough bout eggs, ehm.. someone hasn't exactly been a good lil' girlfriend has she :O

Had my Bm papers today. I tell you, i can kiss that A+ goodbye :'( tomorrow's history, and you know what that means; pure blissful joy

i piss myself off

2009-11-14T17:26:00.006+08:00

honestly, i could have had suchhh an amazing week if it wasnt for godfucking SPM coming right at my face on the 18th of november. pfft. the hot mama's been away coz her boyfriend from down under's in KL for the week. so, its only instinct for her to be him with him in their dirty lil hotel room eh?

Well, eventually, some good's gonna have to come out of it right? la lover's been spending the wholeeee entire week with moi :) trust me, sometimes it drove me crazy! (boo, sorry tau)

seriously, i SHOULD be studying. everyone thinks i should. i KNOW i should. pfft. T-minus 3 motherfucking days. but oh well, something just makes me wanna, tembak everything. hahaha.

i took a picture for Ross, for his band,

the Daily Show.

whom you guys should definately check out. CLICK AWAY!

i found my dirty lil secret :)

Graduation 2009

2009-11-06T21:32:00.004+08:00

I've officially graduated from high school. whoopdeedo! i've realised my school really makes a big deal out of this graduation thing, why so? well, it was held in the auditorium of this place called bahagian teknologi pendidikan. somwhere in bukit kiara nearby the planetarium. ok fine, it was a nicer place but then again, the food was shit. somewhere during the long "eventful" day, pavallam and i decided to dance while effy sang "penawar rindu". totally impromptu and spontaneous :S but we sorta pulled it off, thank god. but then again, somewhere during practicing, i lost my phone. Some retard took it and got me panicked. thank god again, the prefects managed to find it :) And to top the day off, Amran was there :) throughout the whole entire day. i love you boo!

congratulaions 09'ers

2009-10-23T22:12:00.004+08:00

i despise the way my school's contributing and adding to the deterioration of our world, of mother nature. Haven't the public spoken out enough about whats going on in the world? All that mumbo-jumbo about how our natural resources are depleting or perhaps the fact that multiloads of trash consisting of plastic and glass are scattered, covering a wide percentage of our land and perhaps even clogging up our waters? About a month or two ago, my school, lets call it school A, began using polystyrene containers and plastic forks and spoons (might i remind you that they are indeed non-biodegradable materials) to serve our food. I mean come on, are the canteen staff that utterly lazy to fucking wash the darn dishes? We do after all, pay a rather high price for the shittiest food they serve. I'm talking bout diluted drinks, that probably came from tap water and a minute amount of meat on chicken bones. sigh* the school consists of about 1200 students, out of which probably 90% purchase canteen food during recess. which means a lump sum of 1000 students, more or less, consume food out of these polystyrene shit and just throw them into the trash. which means, 1000 polystyrene containers and 1000 pairs of plastic forks and spoons are thrown away every monday to friday. BASICALLY, our glorious school A, plays a rather shitty big role in the destruction of our environment. As some random old brit hag would say, " i find it utterly disgusting". People can be so darn lazy sometimes, amazingly the turtle who's running the school never even thought of going against it. Every week, she literally complains about how the school is running out of funds to keep the school running. HELLO, EARTH TO TURTLE, i think you are spending so much more money purchasing those damn polystyrene shit okay?

ladies and gents, GO GREEN. for your goddamn children's sake

confuciousnism

2009-10-19T00:27:00.001+08:00

a confucious joke oliver told me the other day:

he who sticks his dick in peanutbutter is fucking nuts.

i laughed my fucking ass off.

head-spinning

2009-10-17T15:20:00.002+08:00

i felt it going down my throat, that bitter taste of high. never knew my life would come to such an event. my first, perhaps not my last, knowing that the world's my oyster in just 2 months from now. I'm counting down the days until the 8th of December, marking the end of my high schooling days. oh those torturous days of having to wake up at 6 in the morning and drag myself up 3 flights of staircase while forcing down some insane memo some blowfish is talking about at the front of the class. Many say that i would begin to miss my schooling days in a couple of months. Hmm, i bet you my life that i wouldn't. I'm pretty good at busying myself, i guess thats a plus. Theres also the fact that i'm so restrained when i''m in school. By finishing school, i've been granted a sort of freedom. Come to think of it, its not freedom, but just, being able to walk out at any second knowing that i've got that cert in hand and i will do whatever it takes to get me through my life - without having to live with people i dislike. *cough* anyways, going back to the title of the blog, i dwell in something new yesterday. A new experiment i tried, and i must say, i quite enjoyed it although timing wasn't appropriate seeing as how SPM is in i think, 36 mind-boggling days. sigh* i'd very much like to fast forward to december. fly off to langkawi, get absolutely wasted and just soak up the sun with the sand in my toes. of course, to top it off with the boyfriend in my arms. hmmm, dreams?

twist and turns of literature

2009-10-12T14:13:00.002+08:00

i received my English Literature paper i did for the trials exam couple days ago. first thought that came to my mind when i saw the grade was, shitfuck. then the teacher begins explaining to me where i went wrong and what i did right, most of it wrong i suppose because she didn't seem too enthusiastic about my views and interpretations of a few poems. but what the hell, it is literature, and any person was allowed to interpret a poem however they see fit? some people, like moi, have a more darker/ depressing view on relationships, so maybe i do blabber on about the downs in a romance. but hey, that was actually what i read the poem as. it was title "ways of love" by a malaysian poet Chung Yee Chong. Now the thing is, that this particular malaysian poet wasn't as famous as A. Samad Said or Shirley Goek, which means that it was impeccably hard for me to google a guide on her poem. I tried but without success, i've yet to found an analysis on this goddamn poem. so i did my own analysis, my own interpretations and all i got from it was that, " you are wayyy off course" "they're not even married in the first place". I sure as hell do think they sound like they are, perhaps an arranged marriage. either that or the persona's a whore wanting to be loved. FML

another thing happened today. i got my period in school before recess. wooofrigginhoo -.- the pain started to kicked in and i felt as if i was in labour - the whole water-breaking- contractions starting- dilemma. oh boy, so what i did, at around noon i got 2 of my classmates to walk me out of school like i owned the place :D and yes, i got home. took a warm shower and buried myself under my pillows while holding my pelvis together. to the men out there : stop whining about paying for a girl or thinking that you're not getting enough of IT. because this shit will make your dick cry ;)

responsibilities

2009-10-05T22:48:00.002+08:00

i realised, its only bout 44 days till SPM and well, recently the goddamn ministry of education decided to change the marking scheme for our papers. instead of having A1, A2 and so on and so forth, we're gonna get A- and A and A+, so on and so forth. pfft. which kinda makes us look dumber if we do get A- instead of an A2. sigh*

another thing i realised is the amount of shit i have to get done, quick:

1. study for the finale. i.e. sejarah, add maths, chem, physics. the rest can be delayed i suppose.
2. clean my absurdly messy room which is looking like a tornado just gone through it.
3. post my damn clothes pictures up so that kimmy can help sell them on her blog.
4. discover more music to prep myself for that interview with the agent for female DJs, yesss. i do intend in being a fucking hot DJ.
5. think of something really nice for am, because he's just been such a sweetie poo. hahaha
6. go for a fucking facial.
7. get a fucking massage
8. perhaps, a haircut
9. and of course, lose some goddamn weight because i seriously look like a sun bear.
10. quit clubbing, stoning, drinking... all that shit until spm's over.
11. SAVE people, SAVE. le benjamins are just melting from my pockets and my purse.

so yea, i complain too much innit?

Hitzkolph whootwhoot

2009-10-03T23:05:00.003+08:00

Today, hitkolph, Kamal/Oliver/Philip/Sameera/Jon's band performed at Sunway Lagoon Wave Pool in conjuction with an event held by Taylors College and it wasn't half bad :) once their performance was over, we started going on the rides and i stepped into the scream park and literally screamed my lungs off. but am was there :)) i feel bleeding exhausted right now and pretty pink from the sun. awhshummm

Arthur's Day

2009-09-26T13:07:00.002+08:00

Twas Arthur's Day yesterday, 25th September 09. Well, it was the 250th anniversary anyways. It started off really boring, i mean all these taiwanese performers, meaning, we didn't understand shit they were singing/saying. we've never even heard bout them. But in the end, Black Eyed Peas showed up on stage and they definately changed the night! Started of with "Lets get retarded" and jon, adil, nesha, am and i just went crazzzzzzzy.

P.S. i wore heels and was having a sore throat. which means that today, i officially got no voice and my legs fell off.

I had a bomb at the end, so thank you sayang for the tickets :) after all, it was great seeing you at last after a whole week, with you being gone in penang for raya! So thats how i ended my holidays. Wasn't all that shit after all! Pictures, will be uploaded later on.

sore and sober

satisfaction

2009-09-18T22:35:00.003+08:00

trials is overrrrrrrrr. everyone, lets take a break for a week and stuff ourselves with some much needed rendang and lemang shall we? To celebrate the end of trials, i've been having an epic time with le boyfriend and his friends. started off with boiler's hartamas on wednesday night. then got over to wangsa maju and all. on thursday night, we just spent the night at concorde and had a blast. i got pretty hammered. but it was funfunfun. what a way to start of the holidays eh? but then again, am's gone back to penang for bout a week to celebrate with his family. i shall be here, enjoying my time, catching up with le friends.

so to all muslims out there, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. i wish you all well, hope you have a great one, stop thinking only bout that duit raya! and i'm sorry if i've crossed the line or hurt anyone's feelings. i guess lately, i've just felt really blessed.
salam aidilfitri <3

remember those times

2009-09-14T22:17:00.002+08:00

the day started off pretty, retardedly. why? haha, its a monday. always wanted a t-shirt saying "I HATE MONDAYS". hmm what is it about mondays, that make me so sick just hearing it? perhaps its the beginning of the week, after a long relaxing weekend with the loved ones? but anyways, today's particular monday was a bad one because:

a) had a dreadful chemistry paper to sit for (which turned out not that bad, but just as bad)
b) we had another long time-consuming assembly
c) during this long time-consuming assembly, my class was called up as the dirtiest class of the week. ( being the first class, it was apparently the end of the world)
d) my period still was not over! grr.

well, i dont know why they made such a big deal bout my class being called up. its not like we signed up to be in this class you know? then again, being in this ridiculous class makes you think that you've gotta keep up with everyone and maintain this sort of perfect nerd student reputation, which makes me uber sick. honestly, i never expected or dreamed or wished to be in this class, so what bites man? they keep talking bout us having to keep our reputation, as the "role models" of the school. earth to friggin school, WE just so happened to be scoring good grades, that doesn't make us bleeding role models. you think i deserve to be a role model? hahaha oh please, but then again, the world would be a much brighter place, i think.

on a much lighter note, i spent my hours after school with effy and ambaby :)) spent the day literally walking around telawi and shopping till we dropped. haha, oh how i love my dahlings :D i can't wait to do more of these sort of days.

a wonderful night

2009-09-12T02:34:00.004+08:00

today we celebrated usama and the late thomas's birthday. and also fahad's farewell :) we had a lil dinner at telawi street bistro with some good food and drinks. all of us were there, and guess who came :D am showed up with faritz. and well, everyone seems to love him. haha, which is i think, great! had a blast, had so much fun being with friends again. i love them all, i miss you thomas, we all do. and we all love you till death. hope you're having fun showing off them abs! i'm dead tired now, sick again so i'm all drugged up on meds and beer. i dont think thats good though :S

one word: YES

2009-09-08T22:55:00.002+08:00

yes, i know we have unspoken words.
perhaps i should start over
and say, you amaze me at every hearbeat.

the scent of your shirt,
the touch of your lips,
the taste of your skin,
yes, my body crumbles at each sensation.

the look in your eyes,
when we lie arm in arm under the covers,
oh, how you keep me warm,
talking to me sweet and softly.

the sound of your voice,
the warmth of your body,
the comfort of your love,
yes, my heart beats faster when i'm with you.

should i be afraid?
that one day, i'll lose everything.
only to be left alone, and empty.
breathing in the scent you left on my pillows.

should i be afraid?
that i might let myself go again,
only to have me at your feet
craving for your love.

yes, the zombie says, yes.
because she believes in the phrase, carpe diem

you rock my world, am <3

late night jogging

2009-09-06T15:11:00.000+08:00

so yesterday night, which was a saturday night.. i snuck out to see amran :) well actually, he came to pick me up from my place with a couple of friends. hung out somewhere in sentral, and well we had a blast! it was my first time meeting him, but it was awesome. had loads of fun and got home only at 7. haha guess somebody didn't puasa :P i was dead tired. slept till the afternoon. mum's boyfriend, robert is down here for a visit. he's staying with us till tomorrow, but i kinda like him :) kinda high right now from all that wine over dinner. but yea, life's pretty awesome right now.

am, you are amazing <3

sex : one love

2009-09-05T19:55:00.001+08:00

i've officially found my new sex: David Guetta's amazing new album, One Love. People, he's officially a god for producing such amazing tunage. seriously. Can't wait for him to come down to KL siaaaaal.

it begins

2009-08-31T23:32:00.004+08:00

so it begins,

my absolutely daft 3 weeks of exam trials. i dont even get why they have to put us through numerous exams when they can't even finish the damn fucking syllables which absolutely makes no sense because it doesn't seem to relate to one another, chapter after chapter. well heres an advice to those a year younger than me, everything you study now, will only make sense next year :) so you better hope your memory's a bitchin good one and don't fuck it up like how i did :)

tomorrow, my first paper shall be a blissful 2 hours and 45 minute paper on Bahasa Melayuuu. got 2 essays to write, one about 400 words and the other at bout 600 knowing their standards. another thing i dont get is why, they state we have to write at around 250 words, but actually what they really mean is 400 words. and 350 words means 700 words. Mofos.

ohh, by the wayyy. i was watching tv yesterday, and i came across this:

bobby chin, better known as this asian chef who speaks absolutely sarcasticaly and thinks he's the anthony bourdain of asia, said " happy merdicka day malaysia". i found it so cute, really.

so, wish me luck in exams, life, love.. heh -.-

men and their fuckin balls

2009-08-29T00:00:00.003+08:00

what a vundavar day, i might say. hell FUCK no, thats in total contrast to the description of my very long and "exciting" day.

to start off, last night i went out with firdaus. first time meeting the guy since hes down for a little puasa break from the phillipines. yess, dah mandi wajib semua kan? haha. so yea, he picked me up and we went for some drinks at Devi's and just chilled, and talked for what seemed like a very short time but in fact was bout 2 hours. see, he and i were sort of going through the same "love/hate" scenario except he's not giving up. and i think i might have, or not. whatever. Got home and crashed at about 5 in the morning, knowing i'd have to wake up at 8.45 the next day because well, i had english literature class at McDonalds.

i got up, literally weak. i felt super heavy, i just could not lift my head from my 7 wonderful pillows. but i did anyways, duty calls eh? i got ready, got on the bus and got to tuition. did my thing till bout 12.30 in the noon and met jian nan at McD. we hung out and had our oxygen while i waited for my maths tuition at 2pm somewhere nearby. So he walked me to tuition and i got there, really tired and restless. Did my thing again, had another break till bout 4.30 when add maths tuition began. fell asleep for a few minor seconds and sort of regretted it since i missed last week's class due to being ridiculously feverish. i walked, slowly while listening to some Sigue Ros on my ipod. the smell of food was in the air, what with all that bazar ramadhan going on. sigh* temptation. however, i only had RM2 in my purse, and that's to last me till the 1st when i finally get my allowance. *breathe*

waited at the lrt station for the bus, and it finally got there. as usual, it was jammed pack but well, i really wanted to get home and couldn't care less. In the midst of headbumping to The Bloody Beetroots, one of my newest most profound discoveries, i began to feel... something -.- the guy who humped me couple months ago in the bus which resulted in me punching him in his beyond fugly face was there again. and HELLO to his tiny lil penis rubbing against me - again. so, AGAIN, i got pissed.. i mean who wouldn't? since he wasn't excatly chase crawford you know? And i yelled at him, literally going "what the fuck is wrong with you" and he got kicked out of the bus, again.

i got off the bus, and i could still feel his disgusting little organ on my skin. ugh. walked home and in a few minutes adil texted me. so i got changed and met him, jon and usama in phase 2, just in time to buka puasa and watched in awe as he gobbled down a murtabak. then we decided to go to Sid's, an english pub very nearby for some beers. Met Nicky there and we had our first taste of cider which was this beer than tasted like fucking apples and it was just what i needed. gosh. then well, unfortunately mother called so i had to get home. had sushi for dinner. and here i am. oh, and Happy Birthday Mummy, i love you :) eventhough i might be a total bitch sometimes, you know i really do care.

i saw something, intriguing. i'm not sure whether to be angry, or to be happy, or to just not care. or maybe, to care. men. can't live with them, can't live without em, eyh?

now, this ladies and gents.. is fucking ecstasy

sweet dreams or beautiful nightmares

2009-08-26T12:04:00.008+08:00

i'm starting to wonder where i get my sense of imagination from, it sure as hell ain't from the 'rents.

two nights ago i had a really odd dream - i was a pirate. no, not just any pirate, one of them assasin pirates. yes, it included the whole pirate ship ordeal and the occasional attacks and wars between other pirates and these freaky creatures from God of War game that i was addicted to once a upon a time. oh also, not to forget, some of them love scenes with men i've never even come across with in my life. yes, you would think i'd be a little less... imaginative at a time like this. perhaps, its the meds kicking it. they have done wonders for me.

on a lighter note, theres a Foam party going on at Marketplace this weekend and i'd like very much to attend this wet event but needless to say, i've got duties to serve. Being a Form 5 student, idly awaiting to get SPM exams over with has really cut me out of the biggest events of the year! like dude, i already missed out on Aoki and Mew was in Bandung couple weeks ago. sigh* but what frustrates me most is well, my ability to study the late nights like i used to - its gone bad. why? well, i've been ill for the past week or so, so basically i've been drugged 24/7 literally to cure myself. and what this does is actually well, put me to sleep. i'm constantly nauseated by these meds and the only way to stop feeling this way is to sleep. So at night, when i should be studying, really all i'm doing is sleep. don't get me wrong, sleep was what i need after Merdeka Week at school. but it frustrates me that i'm not getting any work done. THIS is not me for fucks sakes. trials is less than a week away, and here i am - hibernating like a fuckin grizzly bear.

Puasa month started so to all my muslim slash fasting friends, happy ramadhan and i wish you all the best. i too shall start fasting once school reopens in another weak attempt to shed those pounds and love-handles. actually, that's another plus to being sick, i've lost my appetite for almost everything except everything that isn't good for me during this state. currently i'm craving for some much needed Chocolate sundae from them McDs.

and above all, i'm just not fucking satisfied with the way Z*** treats me. you think the whole world must revolve around that ass of yours? you're not the only one in need you know? but i guess, after what's said and done, thats the end of your chapter?

Today, i shall try my best to bury myself under those history notes while drowning myself in some new-found Album Leaf and Nosaj Things. eargasms, literally.

made me tear :')

h1n1

2009-08-24T11:16:00.007+08:00

so i've been terribly ill for the past week. somewhere mid of last week i started having like, fever, flu, cough, sore throats.. you know, the stuff you think h1n1 people gets? at the same time i was apparently overworking myself in school, what with all the rehearsals and performances we did last week: for Hari Koko and Merdeka. On friday, i think, thats when i got reaaaaally sick. my fever went up to a 40 degrees without realizing it. i only felt it after school in the afternoon when we were all in Bangsar having our lunch. So i went home, jon came over and took my temperature and stuff, yea my temp was a 40 and he made me wrap myself up like a bun and i finally caught up on some much needed sleep. Mum took me to the clinic at night after dinner and the doc said to go to the hospital, so i did, i went to Pantai and thats a private hospital. Doc advised to do a check up for h1n1 but apparently, private hosps dont do check ups for that, like.. double-yoo-tee-eff eyh? so i went to UH and waited like fuck just to register my name, friggin gov hosps. and finally when i got my check up, the lady said i wasnt "serious" enough to be admitted and told me to wait 2 more days. like, WOMAN, my fever was at 40, i had nose bleeds, splitting headaches, cough, flu, sore throat and you still wont admit me? okay fine, she gave me more medication, i've been so drugged out for the past week its amazing i even remember what it feels like to be sober. so yea, its been 3 days now, i guess i'm better. a lil feverish, still coughin, still fluin, still sore throating, and still headaching. but what can i do bout it eyh? andddd to top it all off, moi has trials next week. iiyesss.

hearts on cocaine

2009-08-17T23:32:00.000+08:00

i had a dream that you finally came by
looking at you,
you ripped my heart out,
cause when i see you
my heart pumps in a different direction.

i need your heart beating next to mine
i need your love like you need mine
maybe i'm in love
maybe i'm still dreaming

remember our first memory
of little messages and laughs
i was down and you brought me back,
back to life,
and now i have fallen for you completely

i need your heart beating next to mine
i need your love like you need mine
i know i'm in love
i know i'm still dreaming

i'd settle just for a touch of your skin,
perhaps those soft lips
that taste of cotton candy.
i'd settle just for those eyes,
those deep brown eyes
that seem to tell a never-ending tale.

and now i know i've fallen for you
head over heels you can say,
because i need your heart beating like mine,
i need your love, your touch, your soul
like you need mine.

for my lembu

mtv world stage live in malaysia 09

2009-08-16T15:36:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, i went for the MTV World Stage thing in sunway lagoon. they drained out the beach. massive space man. went there with jon and aaron. jon kept bragging bout his VIP ticket but ended up getting it reaaally late. i met Jules from Fly fm. saw mark and ashtin and a couple of myspacers. so hung out with them throughout the night. then saw rafiq and his friends haha. but it was an awesome night started off with estranged. and the bigger bands came out towards the night, and of course, kasabian was the closing act! gosh that was probably the peak of my high! was uber exhausted after that and had to walk all the way to MOS coz there was an afterparty. got there with jon and turns out i couldnt go in coz i brought my camera. sighhh. so we went home with little money left in our bags. got home, and crashed. OH and i met zarul :))

i wish

2009-08-12T23:49:00.002+08:00

sorry for the lack of typing and all. life's like that unfortunately, been uber busy what with trials in 2 weeks and 4 shows coming up. sigh* well on monday, a few girls and effy and i are gonna be performing for the deputy prime minister and some other ministers as well. god knows why cant they afford real performers but yea, probably cheapskate people out there. i've been swamped with work and somehow, just somehow i'm starting to suffer insomnia, i think. well thing is, i have trouble sleeping at night. falling asleep really, i cant sleep till bout 3 in the morning or so. i end up gettin 3 hours of sleep at night which is barely enough and i have to be in school. i end up sleeping in school, but knowing those baboons will never ever shut up, i dont get my proper sleep, ever.

mtv world stage is this weekend, i wanna go so badly. i also wanna not go to my aunt's house. coz that means add maths :( yes, my grandpa's here to make my life even busier than it already is. LIFE.

uh the love life? why dont you ask him :/

bite me

our hardest confession

2009-08-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

couldn't you have tried a little harder,
perhaps a little longer
we might have lasted
instead of having voices blasted.

or have we been broken from the start
when i felt like standing on the edge
you and me,
worlds apart

and there i was thinking
our little boat was sinking
and there i was thinking
our greatest love was dying

i'll never let you in again
never breathe you in again
never touch you again
i'll never let you sweep me off my feet

it would be nice to know
if we could have lasted a lil longer
then there wouldn't be times like these
where i lie here thinking

and there i was thinking
our little boat was sinking
and there you were, standing
and here i was sinking.

this is for the past Mr. Xs and the future Xs :)

dieee

2009-08-01T23:08:00.002+08:00

the initial plan was to sleepova at effy's for 2 nights. so i would only come home on sunday. so on friday, i got to effy's and we went fot this "akar seni" thingy in galeri shah alam which was in.. shah alam. note: effy's place is in jinjang.. so it was like an hour's drive? and we sorta ended up overdressed coz her bf didnt give us details on what type of event it was. hmph. at night our hopes were kinda let down but its alright, i had a great time talkin to kila while effy slept and snored :P

woke up saturday morning, was a lil happier. spent the day watching movies and taking pics, hilarious ones. then suddenly mum calls me at 4.30 in the evening and tells me to be home by 6 or else it'll be the death of me. sheesh. effy's parents were out so i had no choice but to take a bus all the way from jinjang to kota raya. now, i sat in the bus for bout 1 hour till i got nearer to kota raya and it turns out the roads are blocked coz of some ISA riot crap thinger going on in KL. so the bus took a U-turn back to sentul and turned back again into chow kit. told the driver to stop at the monorail but he wouldnt, instead he dropped me further down chow kit so i had to walk along motherfuckin chow kit. and yes, i got harassed like mad so that pissed me off. i got to the monorail which was jammed pack and ended up goin back to KL sentral. now, it was bout 7 smth i think or 8, and there were no cabs so i took another bus to mid valley and from there took a cab home and that cost me RM8, although normally i would pay RM4. ironically, the roads were clear, no traffic jam or anything. sigh* i reached home at bout 9pm.. and i left effy's at 5.30pm yeap, story of my life. i had RM2 left in my purse at the end of the day. thanks mother for ruining my life :) i "heart" you so much.

blissful agony of a lil high school girl dying to get out

squeeze me

2009-07-28T19:14:00.002+08:00

excuse moi for the delay. hasnt been any eventful shit to blog about these few days cept that i keep waking up late for school, kinda pisses me off that i can wake up to my alarm and have the nerve to switch it off and go back to sleep thinking i'll wake up in 5 mins, turns out its 7am and the van left. boohoo. anywhooo, thursday's effy's birthday so i think we'll be spending the night or weekend at her place doin lord knows what. probably go fishing at changkat bukit bintang :)

as for the love life, as how we malaysians put it, its just "like that lah" meaning, we haven't moved from where we left off :/ yet, my eyes are still open but i think i just cant be bothered. SPM's comin so that should take over my life just about now if not 2 weeks ago. yesss.

i miss gettin wasted with my buds, life seemed so much better that way. hahaha. oh wells, july's been okay. i mean, there was the manchester united match but that was pretty much the highlight of the month. yay!

apparently, everyone needs a waiting list :)

Manchester united vs. Malaysia

2009-07-19T02:22:00.002+08:00

be jealous :) 20 rows from the front seats. i was in love, michael owen you have permiission to screw me upside down. haha. my aunt managed to score me some tics,very last minute tics :D the score was 3-2, man united won, rooney, nani, owen :D today owned and i'll never forget today. i love you manchester united forever and ever

the italianoes

2009-07-13T13:24:00.003+08:00

Friday after school, we went to McDonalds, gave Effy permission to finally have some McDs after not having em for aeons. Then we bumped into her old neighbour , Hairi. Had a great time talkin to him, plus he is pretty cute in a Malay-Phillipino way?

Saturday night came, yes i snuck out hahahhaaha. hung out with jon and the usuals. we went to twentyone, danced our asses off. at first i was the only one allowed in coz apparently there were too many guys upstairs? hahahah but well, we're usuals so jon got all of us in. dancedance and yes, there were more guys, not necessarily good looking ones btw. sighh. but there were a few yummy ones ;) met a guy named richard who's a yoga instructor in bangsar oo la la, he can do splits ;) imagine. hahah. uhm anyways, we stayed till bout 4 when zahra came pick us up then we went to riccardo's place which was just up the road, man how amazing would that be. His condo was on the 21st floor and ohmygod, its so nice. the view, the wind.. it was so cool and airy. had more drinks more music, met more people, more gay people? francois was outtt on the couch. haha hilarious night. riccardo's a chef and he cooked pasta for us, what we needed so badly. finally went home at bout 6am and martin and his friends were down by the pool, too tired to layan them so i went home and crashed immediately, waking up at 3pm the next day. didn't do much, just studied more english literature, which is really going well. then i went to tuition at 5 in the evening. tadaaa that was my weekend.

today, i skipped school to stay home to study. mehh that's going, not according to plan as you can already tell :P

life's just okay :D

if only

2009-07-10T22:39:00.001+08:00

if only i had better days,
where i didnt care as much.
i think i'd be much happier,
dont you?

we are all prostitutes

2009-06-29T04:38:00.002+08:00

watched a midnight movie on sunday, TRANSFORMERS. ahhah but before that, i had tuition then i finally went home. and then met jon and the rest for beers at Sid's pub and spontaneously decided to catch a movie at mid valley. so that was half an hour before the movie started and we made our move to mid valley. got there 10 mins before the movie started, running like some physco bitch across the empty mall. met andrew there who had our front row tics ready and so we watched the movie. i swear to god my eyes felt like they could row out of their sockets coz we were just so near. but i guess, overall good movie cept that jon fell asleep and i think megan fox is definately a man :P mum's home tomorrow. goodbye freedom :(

i'll show you mine if you show me yours

hello new world

2009-06-27T16:23:00.002+08:00

if i could see the future, life would be a lot easier because it would be easier to see the reason why.

sooo. friday, skipped school again and i woke up in the noon because i lepaked with rafiq and akmal the night before till 7 in the morning just drivin around ampang looking for a place to go. ended up sitting at a mamak for a few hours just plain karuting - as usual :) then i got hungry but was kinda sleepy so he brought me to kampung baru, my first time there btw, and i had one of the best nasi lemak i've ever tasted from this old lady who sells it outside her house. then we sat at this open air area and had shisha at 5 in the morning? haha sat there for almost two hours and was about to fall asleep literally so he sent me home. arrived home at 7 in the morning and crashed lol. woke up and met khal a few hours later for the first time. oddly, i only met him online on facebook the night before? ahah probably one of the most random things i've done. later on at 6 in the evening my aunt picked me up then we went for this recital in kelana jaya. Mahathir was there and i shook his hand? hahaha. went home to her place, stayed the night.. will continue on staying there till sunday. sighh. mum's prolly having fun in the jungle, if ya get what i mean :P

ciao to the cow

piercing number 13/14

2009-06-26T00:24:00.003+08:00

haha, check this out :D my 13th and 14th piercing: an industrial. just a lil something to numb the pain i suppose. its to let go of some memories, some people might find it stupid but its me, so deal with it! thanks nicky for paying :DD

also, mummy left to sabah today, so i'm home alone. went to hartamas for an hour to see adil who's leavin for PakiLand tomorrow for a month and half. gonna miss you bambi :)

oh, it hurt really bad

what a turn around

2009-06-24T18:50:00.005+08:00

my blogger's been retarded for a few days, excuse it.

i was woken up to an alarming phone call from jon, only to hear his sobs and his tears. the news was, thomas malory deniel had passed away the night before. i didnt believe it at first, only thought it was a joke or a taunt jon was tryin to play on me. after a while, i realised, he wasnt joking. i broke into tears, got changed and immediately rushed to University Hospital with Jon only to see thomas' closest friends and family outside the morg - all in tears. the mood? bleek, despair, sadness. it was all happening to fast. We've came to learn that thomas was killed in an accident. he was on his speed bike goin at about 200 km/h and a car came out of nowhere and hit him. no idea what happened to the car, but thomas and his beloved bike flew - he gave his last breath on the spot. his body was sent to a funeral parlour called Nirvana, i couldnt make the reception coz i had class.

so i made my way to class, without any mood. my mind was wandering some place else, thinking, what if we had more time? i left class early and met adil who was waitng at sentral. he took me to bkt bintang in attempt to cheer me up. nothing really worked but i guess i felt slightly better. we made our way back to my place to meet up with jon and nick after they were done with the reception. still, we were all in shock. that night i went home, not being able to sleep or eat. looking for people to talk to but no one answered. so i let my thoughts get the best of me and tears poured, the next thing i knew, i heard my alarm and i got ready for school. still not accepting the fact that i've or perhaps, we, lost a really dear friend.

Thomas Malory Deniel, we didnt have much time together, but even so thanks for the great memories :) you'll always be in our hearts, i can promise you that. please, take care of us, me, from up there? i'll see you soon, we'll have another friday night like that up there ;) i miss you so much, your eyes, your smile, your rock hard abs :P Jon needs you most, so visit our dreams once in a while kay? we love you, je t'aime mon cheri!

10.09.01 - 20.06.09

goodbye my friend.

Another night, another dance

2009-06-13T21:39:00.002+08:00

its my last weekend of holidays :'( a lil dissapointed as of how i spent it. anyways, last night was spent hanging out with jon, the fahads, omar and nesha. first at phase 2, had some greengreen stuff ;) then later on i met them at twentyone. nesha was beyond high, there i met thomas (sex god much). pretty much spent my whole time there babysittin nesha coz she couldnt control herself -.- but i danced a lil here and there. but thats it. sighhh. today's reem's bday and they're heading to twentyone again so maybe i might just go, maybeeee. so, bye bitchesssss

world, hold on

holidays :)

2009-06-09T00:36:00.002+08:00

so sunday night, i finally got to live up to my holidays. the day started with a general ability test at 8am. you hav no idea how sleepy i was. -.- but before that i met rushdy :) hung out for a bit and we met up after my exam again. walked arnd, had starbucks, smth i really needed. then my mum came and we left for perak, to send my brother back. 3 1/2 hour drive and we stopped to have this reallllly good seafood at this dodgy area but who cares eh. dropped my bro off at my dad's office, saw him for a bit then we started our journey back to KL. decided to use the highway coz the coastal way would be really dark at night but then turns out, highway was pretty packed. we were moving but just, reallllyyyy slow to a point where i really needed to pee. that was a 4 1/2 hour drive haihhh. got home, had dinner waited till 12. mum fell asleep, here came a friend to pick me up :D 3 of us headed to one of their place somewhere in cheras. and there, the rest was history. heeee :) had a great time. got home, slept like a baby till 3pm. then went over to jon's, after 2 weeks of not seeing him, had chocolate milk, practised singing with jon for taylor's prom night. fell asleep onn jon's couch for 2 hours and then practised somemore, he left for prom, i went home, had dinner while watching bostan legal - great show btw, zack called, spoke to him for a while then he went for dinner, i DOTAed, then uhmm he called again, then i showered and then i blogged. lol

do the salmon dance yawww ;)

happy birthday zackybabyyy

2009-06-07T00:48:00.002+08:00

so as you know, this whole week i've been busy studyin for this asean exam which turns out, nothing i studied came out :) awesome eyh? ughh the maths paper was shit hard. fuckfuckfuck. but english was good i guess. and like 98% of the people were like chinese mega nerds. yeayerr. anyways, on a lighter note, it ends tomorrow with a general ability test and then later on gotta send my bro back to sitiawan. haihh.

zack's birthday toooo. and well, sucks that i cant celebrate it with him :( happy birthday hunn <3

sigh* i vaaant my holiday

reasons

2009-06-01T16:57:00.002+08:00

been a tiring weekend although its the first of the holidays. i gave up goin home to sitiawan for my cousin's wedding to stay here and study add maths with my grandpa until i literally hear a pop in my brain. but the nights were sleepless nights spent with my friends just chillin by the poolside :) then today i went to mid valley to pick my brother up at the same time, meeting my dad and.. uhh yeah not much to say bout that. - for those who know me best, you know why ;)

sighhh.

My boys

2009-05-28T12:40:00.003+08:00

my boys dissapointed me and the rest of the Manchester United fans across the world last night :( ronaldo why did you have to be so fuckin selfish ha? pass the goddamn ball around. and whats with that move taking Park out ha! It was an embaressing game, they didn't even score once. to add to that, I snuck out all the way to hartamas just to watch it, and it rained, it was cold, it was crowded, but it was all for Man Utd. WHYYYYYY! :'( and now, i'm off to my aunt's to do add maths 0.0 ughhh

a lil pose before we went home ;)

stressed out?

2009-05-26T23:40:00.002+08:00

dudes and dudettes, my mother will never stop goin on bout this scholarship crap - it is driving me nuts! shes in overdrive and is pushing me to the max. imagine, if nothing comes out of this? woaaah did i just waste a hell lot of time there.

i'm sry for all the bullshit, lets start over. okay, to make things seem a lil more "cheerful", well, exams are over :D holidays are starting and i refuse to mention the 1st week of holidays because it'll just seem how sad my life is. pfftshh. on the other hand, i'm gettin reallllllyyyy tired.

new found voice,

ya'll know what i'm talkin bout ;)

vodka party

2009-05-23T11:46:00.003+08:00

so last night, i went over to phase 2. lepak with jon, adil, nick, ashish, fahad and omar. had some of my baby absolut till our heads popped. they left to zouk, i went home with a smile on my face :) the things i do when exams are over. lol. well it aint excatly over but mama thinks it is ;) todayyy i shall go swimmin and just relax. was a totally lopsided night

on the other hand, i opened my mailbox a few minutes ago. looked through the mail, not expecting anything for myself as usual but guess what, there was a letter for me. a singaporean stamp was printed on the envelope - only one thought came to my mind, the scholarship. feeling a rush of excitement, i tore the envelope open and there it was, printed in bold saying i was invited to sit for the asean scholarship test. OHMYGOD :D not that i actually wanna go to singapore but hey, its a stepping stone aint it? but one thought went through my mind, how the fuck am i suppose to prepare for this? its 2 weeks till the exam date and i was to prepare a few documents including my result slips. frankly, the thought of my getting this scholarship is quite a blur. my oh my, what do i do?

you and me

2009-05-22T15:21:00.000+08:00

something i found :)

me donner une réponse, las d'attendre

2009-05-18T14:45:00.002+08:00

recently i've devour in this obsession for the french language. i dont know why, its just so... ahh j'adore! :DD i skipped school today, well i had a bio paper but i dropped the subject so whats the point if i went to school and not take the exam? so i slept in till noon and woke up with a thought in my head, that really annoyin humanoid thats been putting a smile on my face and filling my dreams with intense sweetness. wtf am i goin on about? lol so anyways, theres bout a week to go till exams are over and then the holidays begin baybehhh. but well, my brother's coming up to KL and so is my grandpa. which means, the add maths intensive training begins :O fuck. but then again, i'm suppose to see a certain someone on that certain someone's birthday? :) but as usual, i try not to keep my hopes up. sigh*

i shall leave you with one of my latest obsessions, enjoy;

vous êtes loin de prendre ma respiration, zack

here we go again

2009-05-13T19:10:00.002+08:00

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One

Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

touche eh? the above was found on ibrahim's blog. sorta interests me at what my zodiac says sometimes. hokaiii lets get down to business:

its exam week again! 11th may 09 till 27th. sigh. what else is there to say bout it except that geee, we're completely on our own coz the darn teachers wont help much. Gonna be sitting for my add maths paper tmr, so wish me luck. To make it all worse, i think the school hasnt been paying its electricity bill coz everydayyy it gets cut off and well, we all know the fuckin weather isnt getting any better aint it? It feels like a hot oven in my class and do any of you know how annoying it is to sit for a brain-pounding paper while sweating your bloody arse off? I shall shut up now since today it rained :D at last, the cool wet breeze :))

on a lighter note, not much to say really but uhm, 176 days till SPM? i end on 3rd december 2009 :D cant wait! seriously,

soalan bocors please?

Epicness

2009-05-06T20:47:00.002+08:00

bonjour! so mum was in perth eh? and i got to stay home alone for monday and tuesday and this is basically what happened ;) effy stayed over on monday night but we were havin a farewell for francois who's movin back to france :( we celebrated at d'haven with some drinks and shisha. oh boy, had a fun night that night hehee. came home at bout 1am? and hung out at the pool where adil just jumped in with all his clothes on. lol, i ended up gettin dragged into the pool with all my clothes on then the guards chased us off. dunno wtf their prob is. sighh. anywhooo.. the next morning adil left at like 6am? basically spent the day with jon and effy doing facials and watchin a horror movie called Mirrors? i fell asleep halfway. way too friggin tired coz Zack called me in the morning for 2 hours <3 later that evening i went out with afiq around KLCC and Pavi. had my first bite of carl's junior dude. haha. got home at 10.30pm and mum arrived home an hour later baring chocolates ^^ then zack called again. ngaaaaaaah. sayangyousomuchzacky!

here we go again :)

paintball

2009-05-01T14:15:00.004+08:00

so i'm stayin at my aunt's for the weekend coz mum's in Australia till tuesday. woke up really early this morning to play paintball at that field outside amcorp mall. i've got this blue-black patch on my leg now coz i got shot. lol. first time playing, reallly nice experience especially if you really feel like shooting someone :D sorry wan, i shot you in the head and made you swallow paint XD

yesterday, i skipped school and watched X-Men the origins: Wolverine at Pavillion with jon, adil and montana :D had loadsa fun but adildo lost his wallet in his cab so he was cashless and pretty much down the entire time. dont worry bambi, you'll get ur cash soon enough :) after the movie i pretty much had to run home before my mum got home haha. oh the movie, AMAAAAZING. theres a scene where hugh jackman's totallllllyyy NAKED. ngaaah. yumyum :D but other than that, seriously, watch it :D

hmm, on a heavier note.. Zack, can we please talk bout this? dont go MIA on me, not now.

another day

2009-04-26T17:01:00.003+08:00

yesterday we had hari anugerah cemerlang in school. had to be in school at 6.30a.m. to get ready for our performance. some pics will be uploaded later once i get them :) but then after our performance, effy came over and we got ready to go to Bkt Bintang. we literally spent the whole day there walking up and down, window shopping. i ended up finishing my cash. perghhh. but i am satisfied with wat i bought :D we met up with ajin, and had loads of fun talking kat coffee bean. then i met danial and farid :D. and they took me to wangsa maju and just lepak2. farid sent me home, had a very frightening yet interesting car ride ;) anddd once i got home, mum was mad -.- so i think im grounded? doesnt matter, i need the studying anyways. haish. oh then i just slept so i was so godfucking tired

imissyou ;)

pretty please?

2009-04-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

dear lovers and haters,

i've found the ultimate sex of shoes:

for only RM165, you can get this for moi :D
and at the same time,
make me the happiest person on the planet.
dont you think so? no? :(
boo you!

for those who so curious to find out where i discovered this lovely baby,
http://angelfac3.blogspot.com/

oh pretty pretty pleaseeee? :)

aiyo. INTERVENSI PT.2

2009-04-20T21:19:00.002+08:00

theres this amazingly either horny or angry cat downstairs coz its been MEOWing for so long i just wanna fuckin pijak it or smth coz it wont shutthefuckup! heeee

sorry for the rudeness but its been an uber hot week and my skin is breaking out. ugh. and also sorry for the lack of updates. ahah, i've been neglecting my online life for quite a while. why? its friggin intervensi week. but, day one's over. 3 more to go then its Hari Anugerah Cemerlang on Saturday, where i'll be performing as Effy's horny emotion :) i'll try to get a video of it.

on a lighter note, the love life? heh, pretty awesome i guess although i am still single but who said being single isnt fun? ;) oh i've had funnn.

dear X, its your move :)

ugh.

2009-04-14T19:52:00.001+08:00

i saw it.
and it hit me;
i'm not done,
i'm not there yet,
i'm not sane,
i'm not strong.

no, it hasn't died,
my feelings.

i wont pursue,
i wont suggest,
i wont fret.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. fuck it

Dissection attraction

2009-04-12T12:18:00.004+08:00

what i did from monday till friday: it was maths and science week at school so they had this exhibition throughout the week. i decided to join the science exhibition with 4 other friends and we decided to dissect froggies :D before i start, whats with guys and being shit scared of frogs eh? look at us girls, we have nooo problem dissecting 8 frogs in 5 days :P so yeah, i had to buy the frogs from this chinese restaurant in PJ which jon showed me. but then i had to go back and buy em again on tuesday night coz we ran out and Hazza took me this time :) oh we actually got 3rd place for our lil project :D but they gave shit prizes and we had 5 people in our group but they gave 4 prizes. wtf right. oh and i think afiq picked me up one day after school on monday or tuesday. that was my first time seeing him, maria met him too :D that was my week. Yesterday, saturday.. i went out with Danial. we watched Fast and Furious 4. it wasn't too bad la. pretty much the same storyline :) then we went to wangsa maju, nearby his place and met up with his friends for a while. then went somewhere in keramat. and then he sent me home at bout 1am? and yeaaah, i had fun :D

ohhh frog pics!

R.I.P froggies!

EFFYandKILAFAIRY

2009-04-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

this was my amazing weekend, effy and kila came to stay over on saturday night. we were supposed to head to Speedzone but apparently there was gonna be a raid and muslims arent allowed to go. so screwww that. We went to bukit bintang. had a lil bit of fun then met up with farid and he took us to McDonalds in gods know where, somewhere in ampang. and i saw danial for like.. 10 secs? :( then i had to go coz Ajin was there to pick us girls up to take us home. and lets say, whatever happened after that, i will never forget :DDD

iloveyousomucheffyandkilafairy <3

evil things

2009-04-01T21:21:00.002+08:00

its been a while eh? so terribly sorry. just been uberly busy with back to school shit. yeah sooo whats been goin on, really nothing much but the homework's been piling and the weight's also gaining. grrr. well today i had to do this debate in my class. it was really last minute so i banged whatever that came to my head and ended up loosing but still i got best speaker. god knows howwww. i was so shocked and blur. haha

ohh, i would like to take a moment to send my condolences to Satpreet Singh's family. They lost a very awesome son yesterday :( Satpreet, you will always be remembered. eventhough we don't really talk.. many do think great things about you. We hope you're in a better place :)

so yeah, speedzone's on saturday but i dont think ima go. maybe i'd go for this beer buffet on friday eh? ;)

the evil things that i've done, washed away

Sunburst 09

2009-03-22T16:23:00.004+08:00

sunburst festival 2009 at bukit kiara equastrian club was fan-fucking-tastic! ughh for those who missed it, be fuckin jealous coz you missed out big time. haha. i went there with jon, alwin and roshinni at like 3pm i think. we were there till 2am after korn and half of twilight actiongirl. ohmygaaa to start off, beers were like 3 cups for RM25, so we were chuggin the whole day. haha. then i went on this mechanical bull with my black dress on. HAHA. but nah, dont worry i didnt flash the world! the best performances for me, i think was Meet Uncle Hussein, Nao, Sixx, Nidji, N.E.R.D and of course duuhhhh Korn.

worst part was i think when it was all over, Sam forgot where she parked her car so we ended up making 2 rounds around the field tryin to figure out where her car was coz she came alone lol. but then again, we ter-walked pass the VIP area where we saw the Korn drummer, David Silveria walking out so we ended up taking a pic with him. but we saw Pharrell got into a car and left :'(

epic night, had so much fun. SO WORTH RM143. ughh hot guys everywhere :DDDD

cantwaitforthenextone :D

Bukit Bintangs

2009-03-19T13:00:00.002+08:00

yesterday i met up with safar, and his rempit friends from technic gombak. LOL. we went to sg. wang lookin for shoes for safar. we didnt know what to do for a while, just walking all over.. then i decided to meet up with Wan and Pedro :D and also their two other friends, matt and hakim i think thats their name. haha we also didnt know what to do.. we wanted to shisha at rooftops but it was fucking full. i saw dharyl and a couple other myspace kids there. all those community people. hahah. got home a lil early coz well, my mum didnt know i was out. and later on at night i was gonna go to Quattro with Jon for a launch party. but before that went to Rune's place and met him and Harminder. OHHH they are fabuloussssss people. hahaha. Homosexuals are my best friends :) lol. anyways, we got into Rune's car to go to Quatro, and people... imagine this, 3 6fts in a kancil! hahaha. all of em had no leg room. i was the only one comfortable ^^.

so we got to Quatro, and the place was jam packed kayyyy. so we thought, fuck that.. we wouldnt be able to get our free drinks by the time we get to the front of the line. ended up goin back to brickfields and bought some bottles and then to andalucia. And i got so fuckin sloshed and you wouldnt wanna know happened next. LOL. so yeahhh

today, i dont know what my plans are.. i saw shahmin in the mornin. that was... okay. Uhmmm yeah might just go out again -.-

SPM lah weiiii studystudystudy!

oh babyyy

2009-03-15T16:59:00.001+08:00

had a fab time last night :D snuck out while my mum was still awake and went to frangipani with nick. met up with jon and zahra there as well as the isaac gang. lol. so we started dancing and nick had to make this stupid move and tell this old white guy who's prolly almost 40 that i wanted a picture with him. so after that that guy kept buggin me, tryin to dance with me and stuff and he ended up givin me his number and asking me out but i ran away and kicked nick for that. so nick pretended to be my boyfriend to get that guy to fuck off. ahahahha. so we were dancing pretty wildly to the music which was played by this reallly cute DJ :D

after frangi's we headed to babylon III at heritage to chill. actually, dont know why were we there. Apparently there was an afterparty but no one we knew were there so screw that. We ended up gettin to know this tiny russian dude named Tany. lol. after babylon, we headed to bangsar for umm, breakfast? at devi's and then we finally went home. i stepped into my bedroom at 6.30am. and crashed at 7am. damnnn.

my mum just had to wake me up at 11.30 this morning. ughhh not enough sleep :( i'm uber tired and im headed out again now. oh well, thank god its holiday this week! whoooooot.

limkokwing has fuckin gorgeous students :O

Rempit Party

2009-03-14T12:04:00.002+08:00

Friday; 13 March 2009.

pontenged school and went to see navin for breakfast at 8.30 in the morning. haha and hes BALD in preparation for the very exciting and much awaited 3-month National Service. :D oh well. so then i met up with oliver and martin and went to Low Yat in Bukit Bintang to get some stuff, MY CHARGER WORKS OH YEAHHHH. Oh and that was martin's first time on the monorail. he was so fascinated :P we ended up sitting somewhere in bukit bintang after that and shishaed. so we talked and talked and talked and martin got hungry so we went to Pavillion and he ate. went home after that and i only had bout an hour to tuition. ended up being late to tuition anyways, add maths. grr. met adam at kl sentral after tuition to go to shukri's house for a barbeque and turned out i was the only girl there till bout 8.30 when the rest arrived hahaha. was pretty boring at first but then it was fun to ride around on bikes and merempit a bit. haha. we went home at 2 in the morning coz well we were suppose to go home by bikes. Kaka was suppose to take me home but hes got no license and uhm there were police rounding the area because apparently that area's known for couples to berromance :D hahaha. so instead we waiting for Kaka's brother to get back and send us home with his car :) so thats how i got home at 2 in the morning and was dead exhausted. but i had funfunfun coz well somethin happened? hahaha

meowww ;)

mood: frustrated

2009-03-09T14:17:00.000+08:00

long story short : fuck you. :)

lies.fullofcrap.bullshit.

lalala

2009-03-05T22:19:00.002+08:00

sorry, cant think of a blog title. hmm, my week? exhausting. cant release stress through blogging butttt oh well. i can suck it up. lol uhm anyways, this week was basically all bout sports day? like the preps for it. been skippin classes to paint flags and sepanduks and all that stuff you need for the marching people. heyyyy dont get me wrong, i love skippin class but like.. this shit can really suck the life out of you. haha. sports day's on saturday, im kinda loosing semangat already? still, sucking it up!

saw aiman yesterday. we were suppose to go for jason mraz buttt hes sold out. well the only ones left were RM200+ tics which were wayyyy off our budget. soo we ended up goin out again :D first he came to hillpark then he met jon then we went to KLCC, again. and walked around thinkin bout god knows what to do again. but we ended up watchin a movie this time! uhmm something called Rusukan Ablasa? all in all, good day. prettydarnamazingday :P

tomorrow's another day of painting. gahhh. 9 more months mel, and it'll all be over and you'll be living in clubs and you wont remember the last time you were sober. WHOOOT! hahah.

ciao to the cowsss..

you spin my head round, round right round, when you go down when you go down down ;)

Stoned

2009-03-01T13:15:00.001+08:00

i skipped school friday. lol. uhmm.. yeah i ended up goin to low yat with nesha to get a laptop charger coz mine's fucked. and when i got back turns out it doesnt fuckin work coz they didnt give me a power chord and the one i have doesnt fit. darn gay? i paid RM90 for that and today my mum tells me that she'll buy me an original one that's bout RM150. GAHHH can i refund? lol. uhmm thennn i went to tuition to sit for an add maths and maths paper but i think i failed coz i was pretty damn stoned and like.. not feeling well. after tuition i went over to my aunt's to babysit coz shes in indonesia and her husband wants to go out lol. so yeahh.. got paid for that haha. yesterday i went for SUARA-GAZA. Nakid's band was performing, got there just in time to catch it. then after that we had to drop montana off in KLpac and it was so stressful for jon coz he wasnt sure of the way so i had to lead him. hahah. got home pretty late. andd yeahh.. i just crashed at like.. 3 in the morning? today, tuition :'( tomorrow, TARIK TALIIIIIIIII woooh!

OH AND NICK GAVE ME CASH FOR JASON MRAZ. I LOVE YOU NICK :D

boy,you spin my head round, round right round.

le weekend

2009-02-23T23:50:00.002+08:00

so my weekend eh,
friday: i woke up late, missed my school van to school, took a public bus, still ended up being late for school, gave up and went home, hung out with jon and tuition. lol. all that and i missed a add maths and maths paper. snuck out at night and had a couple of beers with jon, giuli and montana at andalucia. played this hillarious game called "i never" its where one person says something they've never done and whoever who has, has to take a big gulp of beer. i guess you all can pretty much guess that me and jon drank up the most. hahaha. jon ended up gettin a lil light headed so he was worried he couldnt drive home, so we ended up goin home at bout 4.30 i think.

Saturday: hmm basically just bummed at home. doin some studying, onlineing the whole day.. wasting my miserable life away untillll at bout midnight, nakid asks me out. lol. how random. so he came pick me up at bout 3 in the morning, and we lepaked at devi's till bout 4.30 with his two friends. and had an interesting car ride back to my place. haha dropped me off, basically the highlight of my weekend :p

Sunday: So on saturday, i made plans with aiman to meet up in KLCC today, so i went. met him.. we couldnt be bothered to watch a movie coz we were so stoned from staying out late at night. hahaha. so we ended up walking through every floor in KLCC and also the park, but i did have fun talking to him. at one point he thought of goin to petrosains.. tau la, i nie kene blaja kan? hahaha. so, another interesting date :) cant wait to see him again! i crashed pretty late that night.. i forgot why, i think i had last minute chemistry studyin to do.. which didnt really happen coz i ended up talkin to more people online. Mr. Tan's right, interent : such a fuckin distraction. oh vell. and also well some shit thing happened with Khizmal. so.. yeah, fuck that.

Monday: joyyy school. had chemistry and moral paper, totally wasnt prepared, totally wasnt awake. but i survived! iiyeahhhh. lol. and it rained sooo stayed in school for a bit. got home with maria and all, hung out at that Virgin mamak place again lol. we're like regulars there, especially maria. bummmmed around again after that. my studying routine has totally went down the fucking drain. tomorrow's last day of this fuckin intervensi. history - joyy.

lets get this shit over with

Karma - Cokelat

2009-02-21T18:26:00.003+08:00

this song, is addictive. enjoy :)

Sekian lama kita bersama
Ternyata kau juga
Sama saja
Kau kira kupercaya semua
S'gala tipu daya
Oh percuma
Kau buat sempurna awalnya
Berakhir bencana

Selamat tinggal sayang...
Bila umurku panjang
Kelak ku 'kan datang
'Tuk buktikan satu balas 'kan kau jelang
Jangan menangis sayang
Ku ingin kau rasakan pahitnya terbuang
Sia-sia, memang kau pantas dapatkan

Akhirnya, usai sudah semua
Kudapat tertawa
Bahagia

S'lalu tampak indah awalnya
Berakhir bencana....

-this is for you, specially the chorus. xx

the intervention

2009-02-17T20:16:00.003+08:00

SMKBB came up with this crap test called intervensi? so basically its a test where the whole wilayah's taking it so its the same paper. BUT, yes theres a friggin but since its my school we're talking bout, teachers in my school are overly semangated to torture us, thus they came up with crap papers like PJK which really make no sense. other schools have less papers because well, they actually have actual lives to live and they have to prepare for their sports day and all sorts. WE, blessed SMKBBians, have our sports day on the 7th of March which is in what, two weeks or so? but, well school doesnt give a shit i guess. while having these darn tests, we also have sports practice and tuition. People in our school board are so damn smart right? gahh. oh vell. thats basically it i suppose. OH ALSOOOOOOO, formation is canceled again -.- shit school. gah

i shall keep you future SMKBBians in my prayers :)

cross country 09

2009-02-13T20:26:00.002+08:00

today SMKBB had our anual cross country. the rules: were a bitch. why? well because this is the first year, girls are banned from wearin shorts - im talking bout knee-length shorts. so we were forced to wear long pants which were fuckin hot and it was a 5.5km run. like shit right? although the track this year was shorter, but my god.. the FUCKIN HILLLSSSS we had to fuckin walk up. i did pretty well i suppose :) got number 20 smth kott. but then i did a split in the field and something popped in my leg 0.0 and now it hurts like a mofo.

its valentine's tomorrow, cant say i have an actual valentine, but i do have a date? with yana's boyfriend's brother? lol. we'll see how that goes. they aren't very punctual are they now? its half an hour pass deadline now :p but i terribly wished khizmal was my valentine this year :(

happyvalentinesbitches.

Mood: lethargic

2009-02-11T19:37:00.002+08:00

here i am,
staring at my phone,
waiting for your fucking call.

awhmygawd. i cant believe its only the 3rd day of the fucking week. I'm exhausted. My brain's drained. My heart's a small minor pulse. My mind's a cluster of thoughts. today we had to register for our SPM. like tick which subjects we want to take and stuff. My teacher tells me i cant fucking drop biology coz its a fuckin package along with fucking physics and fucking chemistry. like what the flying fuck bitch? every other school's okay with it, i know why.. our school's like. gah. so i went ahead and ticked bio. and english literature, which i have yet to seriously start on coz i just dont have the fucking time. i havent been myself lately, i guess that isnt a big deal. once this whole sports day, intensive exams thing is over, i'm sure i'll be back to normal.

i miss khizmal so fucking much. i just need to hear his voice to get through everyfuckingday. also, goddamnit... valentine's day is coming up and suzie set me up on some blind date which im sorta thinkin twice bout 0.0

i'm too fucking vulgar for my age. seriously

pro-Gaza

2009-02-08T09:52:00.002+08:00

yesterday,
all my troubles seemed so far away,
now it looks as thought they're here to stay,
oh i believe in yesterday.

yesterday, i joined jon and faheem's family at the charity bazaar for Gaza people held in bangsar shopping center. i got there bout two, and it was fun! i ended up join jon and jess(i think thats his name) singing all these sad emo songs outside coffee bean. then suddenly, faheem's aunt or mum made us go on stage and sing! lol. all of us didnt even know the lyrics to the song so we were just blabbering away while jess sang and played the guitar! we ended up collecting bout RM1200 in the velvet guitar case :D i also managed to get my sunburst tickets :DD later on, we all went to faheem's house and watched people play guitar hero and sing. lol. i want a friggin ps3! then jon drove me home but we hung out at zahra's for a bit to collect his cats and met Mike the owner who was bout to leave to africa 0.o poor kitties. they are so fucking cute.

i had a rough week, so i'm glad it ended like that. though i'm still very much sleep deprived and i feel like im constantly numb and stoned. WHYYYYY? coz of you lah. pfft :p

tomorrow's a fucking holiday :D

arsloch

2009-02-07T13:09:00.003+08:00

there was this song, meant for him.
there was this heart, built for him.
there was this life, made for him.
there were these tears, cried for him.
there was this voice, only for him.
and now,
that song is merely lines of hope.
that heart is crushed and broken.
that life runs away from him.
the tears, were because of him.
the voice, full of hatred and anger.
and now,
she wishes she wasnt a fool,
she wishes she didnt follow the rules,
she wishes she didnt make the same mistake,
she wishes to do it all over again.
and now,
she hopes for something new,
she hopes for a moment,
she hopes for the light that would guide her through,
she hopes that he would just leave her alone,
because,
he was all that she could think of,
and,
he was selfish,
so was she,
and,
he crushed her.
was it all worth it?

bahhhhhhhhhhhehtgltrgkmcslfhsilahualijgks!

holiday

2009-02-02T23:05:00.002+08:00

oh well, my one week break is over. its back to blissfull school tomorrow and the nagging of the turtle-head principle. bahh. i did have fun today tho, khairani finally moved to KL! my long lost sister. haha nah, i've just known her since i was like 5 and we were neighbours back when i was still livin in sitiawan. so i followed her to check out taylor's today coz she wanted to check out foreign languages but then i bumped into kamal after years of not seeing him since he graduated i guess. hmm, then we had lunch at asia cafe, cuci mata. haha Girl and her friends kept making fun of my ever changin boyfriends and their races. she remembers em more than i do apparently :O hahaha then at bout 1pm we took a cab to sunway pyramid where i was to meet nakid :D but he showed up LATE :p but when he did we just ended up walking around talking and talking and talking and well i watched him grub down a cheeseburger at mcds. lol. unfortunately i couldn't stay that long so we couldnt grab a movie.. and then i took a cab home who was really fast, thank god but i had to pay like RM12 including the tolls coz i skipped the jam. but its kay, apparently some of em charge RM15-17. EVERY FUCKING CAB IN SUBANG DOESNT GO BY BLOODY METER. god knows what their bleeding problem is. i got home and dhanvi and jon and dev were skating around so i hung out summore. came home when it started to pour and tried to study but ended up webcamming with khizmal. well i webcammed he just begged me to do stuff and made fun of my hair.

so i managed to survive through today with a mild hangover coz i took a tiny lil bit too much vodka last night in the comfort of my own room :) one day, Girl and i shall drive around KL coz shes got her license babehhhhh!

ugh. school tmr -.-

satisfaction

2009-01-31T12:47:00.002+08:00

nothing i do is ever good enough.
i wish to live my life,
is that too much to ask for?
your hatred for me, its okay..
but do i disgust you that much?
is what i do that terrible?
there are others far worse than i am,
i dont see people hating them
like you do me.
i hoped to make you happy,
but my efforts were wasted.
those few days,
few hours spent,
meant nothing, had nothing
am i still your blood?
a part of you?
you have your own life now, i know that
but i was once part of yours,
doesnt that mean anything?
that woman, wrecked us
that woman, spoiled you
that woman, changed you.
look around you,
one day, i'm all you have.
but when that day comes,
you'll be nothing to me.
because i've cared long enough,
is your satisfaction to see me cry?
is your satisfaction to see me fail?

sorry, was amazingly emo and bored. gah

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2009-01-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

its the chinese friggin new yearsssss. and i've got 1 week of holiday. i shall return to sitiawan tmr afternoon and i'll be back in vundderrrfulll KL on weds :D so peoples, make plans when im backs kay? this week, helll this week. one hell of a week. lol. ehm lets see, i stayed back most days.. watched a friendly match btw my school's football team and bangsar's school. and it came to a draw coz the match had to be stopped since it was gettin kinda rough :O then well.. i skipped school today coz it was maal hijrah so i lepaked with jon when he woke up then adam,shuk and zaid came to phase 2 to swim. then i went to tuition. and i got back. and it was helllllar jammed.

im just exhausted. thank god for the hols and angpaos coming my way. :D oh and khizmal..oh khizmal.. havent talked to him for almost a week now. he doesnt call. and i dont think i should anymore if his little packages of nicotine are more valueble to him than i am.

happychinesenewyears bitches!

Adamrollerskates

2009-01-18T00:23:00.002+08:00

today i was invited to adam's 17th at the top floor of bangsar shoppin center. before today i have yet to see whats become of it since it got renovated. so i had no idea what was on the top floor. i got there with maria,iena n angah and it was a friggin rollerskating ring! it was a joint party with his 10 yr old sis and we spent hours skating. shukri and hakim helped me <3 but i still fell whenever someone gets in my way or falls in front of me, ehem*maria*cough* after skating till 8 we walked to bangsar telawi and shishaed and had dinner and from there walked to the lrt station to catch a cab home and i got home at 11. foohh. fun day :D

thanks birthdayboy :)

go friggin away 09'

2009-01-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

2009 has started off with a shit start, oh btw.. happy birthday wan adam! dont think he reads this though =/

anywho, todayyy school had this weird pep talk for the form 5s bout discpline.. tht took u 3 friggin periods. whatever happened to.. DUDE ITS FUCKIN SPM! STUDY! so during the pep talk we were given a list of the rules, n i think i broke a lot of em =X rules are overated anyways. umm and then i had to stayback for sports practice but i didnt do crap except wave a coconut tree leaf around.lol. and had a gossip sesh with geraldineee and roshinni bout my wayyy whoribble life.then uncle massimo came to pick giuli up to go home and offered me a ride, *LIFEFREAKINSAVIOUR* since i was havin major period cramps, i dont know why they hurt so bad but its like driving a mofo wrench thru my freakin uterus.

i got more homework, oh ma ga.. two essays to hand in tmr, not to mention one of em's a malay essay. eeeishhh. another malay essay to hand in by monday. history notes to complete by the end of the month. EHHH WHERE GOT TIME TO STUDY IF LIKE THIS WANNN?!

im awfully hyper for some reason today, maybe it was coz before today i was all PMSy due to the blood clogged up down south. oh pishhh poshh.. OH and and and.. geral says i cud stay with her if she goes to perth. yayfreakinheeee! tht means, KHIZMAL FOR FUCKIN NEWYEARS 10' :D

man am i obsessed -.-"

hair stylist from hell

2009-01-12T20:15:00.002+08:00

i got my haircut yesterday. fuck i fuckin hate it. i've got fuckin korean bangs! 0.0
the hair stylist had it too.. so i guess thats why she gives it to everyone of her customers. i told her to layer and give me the girl from the ting tings' hair style. shes like okay okay i know! and im like.. u sure ah? she said yeah i know i know. so this place called THE REPLACEMENT located in telawi has no wall mirrors like normal salons do. their mirrors are on the fuckin ceiling. so u dont really know how ur hair looks like when the fucker's cutting your hair.. thus, at the end of my haircut i ended up havin a conconut shaped bang and fuckin thin hair at the back. im like.. WOMANNNNNN I DIDNT FUCKIN ASK U TO CHOP MY FUCKIN HAIR OFF YOU DOUCHEBAG. I DONT WANNA FUCKIN LOOK LIKE YOU!

best part is that my mum didnt know i went for haircut n now im shit scared of showin her so my hair's been tied up the whole time. geraldine's gonna steal some protein for me to take to make my hair grow faster.LOL

i look fuckin lala. eeeeee

Sign me

2009-01-10T22:36:00.002+08:00

today i went to bangsar with jon to collect my paycheck and get a haircut, and incidently, start a petition! i didnt manage to get my haircut coz the place was full so i got my paycheck :D and did the petition.

wots the petition bout?
its basically us trying to get bout 1500-2000 signatures from KL lights. At the end of everything we send the petition letter including the signatures, to the US embassy and hopefully, they'll pay attention to whats on it. This petition is to aid the people in Gaza, you know? all that shit goin on there with the bombs and stuff. We're not supporting them nor are we against them, we just want the war to end on both sides, also giving aid to the victims of this horrid tragedy. Today, we managed to get bout 230 signatures :D aint an easy job kay, some people are just so ignorant bout it and they just walk off without hearing us out! but hey, i hav to confess, i do that to other people too who try to sell me things or donate sum shit. dont get me wrong, i do do my fair share of good deeds kay!

So we were walking around bangsar from 3 till 8 asking for signatures and jon just didnt wanna give up till it got dark. Tomorrow he plans to do it in Midvalley and maybe for a while in Bangsar. So for those who are interested in signing your name on our fabolous piece of paper, please do gimme a call or smth and come by :D

update

2009-01-09T23:13:00.002+08:00

i just completed my first week of senior year and dude the homework :'( im afraid one day im just gonna fall back n cant keep up. to make things worse, my classmates are like baby einsteins. holy madaaa! i miss khizmalllllllll. im so alone in class :'(

sigh.. gettin 09 ova with